Some people live their lives in a masquerade never knowing who they going to be, from day to day. But I have known since I was a little girl that I am a Queen. You can be & you determine, what your desired outcome is to be. For Me, I chose to be happy. If you not yourself, no one else can be true to you but you. I always live and adapt to my higher self even during my moments of folly & uncertainty.
Happiness logically processed is being condition to believe that it is an emotion. I would dare challenge that if it is a choice, I don’t have to wait until I feel something to determine my mindset. I know from within when I rise everyday that I shall have a joy unspeakable no matter what I am facing. If my outer appearance was an indicator of what my inner being was projecting, then most people and (they often do) consider my appearance as being constantly in thought and unhappy. That is why I tell people Perception is a Helluva! (von slang) a drug. We live in a society that dictates that if your circumstances are X, Y, & Z then that determines your glow. But, as with all thing’s factual liberties in life, it starts within. If your thoughts are not right, neither shall you be. If you don’t eat right, internally you won’t be right. It Whatever is going on, in the inside is what sustains you.
Hence, the significance of knowing what you know, that you know. Anything that is digested in the speculation of a circumstantial sense or the unbalance of information will always keep you in a whirlwind of confusion. Due to your seeking of the outer conditioned response of what happiness is. My resting face carries no emotion, NONE! but I tell people all the time I am doing cartwheels inside. I often dress casket clean, but I could be torn down in the inside and so often people’s perception of me will always be off kilter. That drug again! Will have them speculating that she has it all together. You must know what you have allowed yourself to be conditioned to because, that is often what you will eject. What you have on the inside will surely show up on the outside. That is why it is important to love who you are. Not who you feel you should be. There shouldn’t be a differential in that dynamic but sadly that is where the conflict lies with many.
No one can love you better than you can. NO one should be allowed to dictate to base anything especially opinion of what they think they see on you (perception of what they think about you) how you should act, feel and be. I used to have a mother in the church tell me, “baby if you happy, your face doesn’t know it yet?” I was offended by that statement and have always kept it in the back of my conscious. Not really processing how that affected me. As a Grown woman that is learning as I come of age. I don’t have to change anything about me to appease others. If you don’t like what you are looking at remove yourself. It really is that simple. You have a generation of people, young and old that force themselves to be something that they are not, in order to fit into a mold that is not meant for them. I have never been successful in the arena of pretend. Faking it to you make it should never be a model of ascension.
When you chose to live out loud, do so with purpose. I live transparently, I have no desire to live up to what another feels I should. Even in decisions that I foresee as suspect. I take full responsibility. I have never been one that could skate with the thought of I didn’t see it coming. I always saw, (did I mention always see it), but I lie to myself and affirm within self that it is something that I can handle, when I know clearly, I cannot. So, thus this leads to despair within self yet again, so, when the hurricane subsides, and the road becomes clear again I can refocus on what needs to be not necessarily what I was told it should be. Life has a funny way of living with or without you. Whether you get on the bus or not it is still coming. Nothing you do or don’t do changes the schedule of what will be. Just tell yourself that if I did get on that bus, there is always the next stop to exit. The flip side, if you missed the bus just know there is always another one coming. The question is will you wait? Coupled with, what must I learn in my period of offset?
If you stay ready, you won’t have to get ready. Every up and down does not need to be displayed in your life. But certain things that you go through can serve as a ladder for another to not befall the same or similar travesty. I can show you better than I can tell you. The rest belongs to you. Hindsight should not be your only teacher. Just like you need to diversify your funds, you must also with your actions of belief in living your best life.
I dropped that dime, you can decide if you gone pick it up!
Eyes wide open!
You can not embrace who you are, if you can’t see who you are!